Child of White, Soul of Black
by Ironi Numair
Summary: What if, in Legends, Raistlin and Crysania concieved a child? Twelve years later that child, harboring doubts and confusion, leaves the Temple in Palanthas on a quest to discover the truth. Chap.5: the road to the High Clerist Tower.
1. I Am Fayard

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Child of White, Soul of Black

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I hit writers block on Hourglass, and you know what they say: "When thou hath reached writer's block, if the block be too high to scale, and thy characters too pooped to break it, createth new ones."   
So, here we are, a "what if". I already have a very long story about some children of Raistlin's in the works, but that's another modernized one, and their histories are way different. So here it is, my first "Krynnish" fic! It's supposed to be short, but we all know how long that's_ gonna last. Okay, enjoy!_

I grew up in the temple in Palanthas, I knew little else. I knew the white walls that I found bright and comforting, I knew all the acolytes and masters and all those who came regularly, and I knew the influence of Paladine that my mother so loved. I grew in his light, a young child, loving him and needing no other. I loved the light. 

When Elistan passed on, my mother took his place, returning from some tale that I hear whispers of but is never told to me. I can read and write, one of my favorite pastimes is rooting through the great library, despite some of the looks I get for it. Maybe I'll find something one day…

I've never met Astinus, but I plan to, someday. I'm still pretty young, afterall.

The temple is always full of people, which was always good, before. I like people. Aside from maybe a few shifty looks here and there, everyone in the temple has always been kind to me, saying how intelligent or beautiful I was. When I was younger, sometimes visitors would bring me sweets, telling me how good I was. Sometimes it became difficult to stay humble before Paladine's eyes.

My mother, every night, would tell me how handsome I was. I don't know what she's talking about, she's never seen me before. The acolytes tell me she wasn't always blind, but when I ask about it they simply say it was an accident, and say no more on the subject. I grew up under Paladine's light, and knew little else.

And only Paladine knows my secret.

It was the day I turned twelve that things finally began to shift from white to gray. It was late, and I was about to turn in when my mother came to me.

"Fayard," she said, "come to me, let me look at you."

I knew now what she meant, unlike before. She lay her hands on my face, tracing over the features she knew so well. Tracing over my high cheekbones, speaking my features aloud, over my eyes and down my jaw to a slightly jutting chin, down to a thin neck and slender shoulders. She took my hands, already long and slender, into her own.

"Tell me again, Fayard, what color is your hair?"

"Like auburn, but darker, Mother." I replied, used to this conversation.

"And your eyes, tell me of your eyes."

That caught me off guard. She had never asked of my eyes, never. I always assumed she never cared. But I could see it on her face clearly now, she had always wanted to know. I didn't know what to say.

"Gray, like yours, Mother." There, I lied to her again. I had begun to do that often, and each time it was like a knot twisting in my stomach, but it always faded. Besides, I didn't want her fretting about it like all the others.

"Ah," she nodded, and for a split moment, I thought she knew. "You look like your father." she whispered sadly, gently brushing a lock of wavy hair behind my ear. With that, she departed. I stood there, unable to move.

She had never mentioned my father before. No one had.

My mind was racing as I headed off to my room. No one ever spoke of my father, and I had never asked, mainly because, I realized suddenly, I had never cared. But why mention it now? Did she know? Did she or the others know what I searched for in the library? Did they know what I could do? Did _he_ have anything to do with it? I shook my head and shut the very thought of my sire out of my mind.

My room was small, but comfortable and all my own. I lay on my bed, tired but not sleepy. My mind kept wandering backwards…

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You look like your father…

I jumped to my feet and threw open the window, I needed air. I looked out into the city, my eyes sweeping across the street. I had never asked about my father, and why should I? He obviously doesn't care any more than I do, or else he would be here. Where was he then? Why did I care all of the sudden…?

My eyes suddenly fell upon the Tower, rising up above the buildings. I had always known it was there, and secretly, I had always gazed at it from afar. It was strangely beautiful, in its own twisted way, and complemented the temple well. The perfect balance. Sometimes, on clear nights, I swear I could see through all the darkness that shrouded the Tower to a window, in which a figure would stand, and I would watch him. Part of me thought that, maybe, he was watching me too.

But that was silly. As far as I knew, only the Master of the Tower resided there, and what possible interest could a Dark Elf have in me, the bastard son of a cleric of Paladine?

Yet, tonight, I suddenly felt a pull at my heart. I couldn't explain it, and before I knew what I had done, I was wandering through the streets of Palanthas in the middle of the night, towards the Tower.

I could feel the effects of the grove the moment I rounded the corner to the Tower. I'm still surprised I didn't bolt right there, as I have never been known for bravery, but I pushed myself forward, fighting the fear that was racing through me. Maybe it was the fact I was too busy arguing with my thoughts to notice how scared I truly was.

'What am I doing here? What darkness is pulling me?'

And why, aside from the effects of the grove, was I not afraid?

I was at the edge of the grove, my heart racing so fast I thought I would drop. The trees were dark and still, nothing moved. It was as though the world was holding its breath, and yet, through the pounding sound of silence, I could hear the grove calling me, inviting me to my death.

…_Fayard……Fayard…_

I wanted into that tower. I _had_ to get into the Tower, and I didn't even know why. But there was no way in. The moment I stepped into the grove, I was done for. The darkness would claim me, demons and ghosts would tear me to shreds and feast upon my flesh. Even if I could get through, more guardians would await me, and if not, an angry Dark Elf who probably didn't like trespassers. 

I was suddenly very angry, frustrated, and tired. At a loss. Tears were suddenly rolling down my face, and I screamed.

I wailed into the darkness that answered me back, and I ran. 

I ran through the streets, tears from an unknown well blinding me, but I kept running. I ran until I reached the temple, to my open window I had apparently crawled out of, and into my room. I slammed the window shut and fell to my knees, sobbing.

What darkness! What horrible darkness!

And I had nearly let it take me. I gazed out the window to the Tower, to the window I could not see. No one was there.

I climbed into my bed, burying my face within the hard pillow. No more tears came, and I had forgotten why I had shed them.

But had I known in the first place?

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Rmmble Rmmble…crash!  
Aha! The evil writer's block is vanquished! Let us ride forth to…Camelot! er…Hourglass! Yeah, that's it…  
It's late, and I'm supposed to be in bed again.  
Shut up.


	2. First Song of Fayard

The First Song of Fayard

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I put my foot down  
The sand is warm under my skin.  
Feathered wings whisperewind,  
And I can see through the light.

Runes across the beach  
By my hand were made.  
Shells crack and scream  
As I dance across their bridges.  
Once more I sing of  
The riveting decadence it holds.

Mint, like leaves scattered  
Across my sweating palms.  
And then the hot breath of the dust,  
And I can hear through the silence.

Sunlight patterns the floor  
Of the dancing leaves above.  
In the canopy the birds sing  
As I whistle them the words.  
Once more they fall to earth  
In their final songs of despair.

I put my hand against  
And the ice breaks in my blood.  
The blood of a man I do not know  
And I can feel through the night.

Um, I don't know…I've been in a small poetry mood since I wrote Rheas' song The Rose…I'm not a poet but hey. But pay attention to these as the story goes on, and watch how Fayard's whole perspective changes as he goes through the story. Yeah, they have a purpose! Ha! I'll go finish chapter two, er three, now…


	3. I Am Discomposed

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Night descended over the mountains and the stars began to fade into view, winking down upon the travelers as they fought to keep their fire burning in the strong wind. Finding some shelter on the leeward side of an outcropping of rocks, the five crowded around the fire and the stew that began to cook. 

The youngest member rubbed his bare arms vigorously, trying to smooth the goosebumps that had appeared long ago. He shivered and tried to bury himself within the remains of his brown robe. Quite useless, the robe had been torn away up to the knees, the hood and sleeves gone entirely, and his tattered cloak was little larger than a shawl. 

Something heavy and warm was suddenly dropped over his shoulders. A small fur blanket; at least, small to its owner. 

The young boy took the blanket and held it out to the giver. "No, no, I'm fine Sorz, really."

"Take it," the minotaur snorted impatiently, "I have no need of it and you'll catch your death otherwise."

"Er…thank you." he stuttered, then wrapped himself up tightly and sighed, breathing in the scent of their dinner. "How much farther until we reach Solace, Thistletoe?" he asked cheerfully.

The strawberry-blond kender looked up from sorting his treasures and beamed. "Not much farther, just over these mountains! Here, I'll show you." Digging through the pockets of his woolen vest, dumping a collection of items onto his lap, he pulled out the worn map and began scanning over it. "Just another day's walk I'll wager and…oh…oops." he said absently as he turned the map in his hands.

"'Oops' what?" hissed the cloaked figured on the opposite side of the fire, his reptilian eyes narrowing to slits.

"Oh nothing, I was just holding the map sideways, that's all."

All eyes focussed on the kender and widened.

"Just now, right? Not the whole time…?" the human boy began with assurance, mainly for himself.

"Well, the words are all in different directions so I didn't notice until just now that what I thought was the top since I first found this map has really been the side the whole time."

"You absolute…doornail!" shouted the dwarf, throwing the spoon she had stirred the stew with to the ground.

"We traveled all this way, nearly got ourselves killed…because you failed to read that map properly!?" snarled the cloaked figure, rising. "This time you die, kender!" With that, the draconian drew his sword and advanced upon the confused kender.

"No! Stop it Phaiva!" shouted the boy, jumping to his feet and stepping between the two, hands on the draconian's sword arm. "It was a mistake! Let it go!"

"Move, street magician! I have grown exhausted with that vile creature and I aim to end its mouth!"

"Not like this and not now. So stop this!"

"Or what, bastard boy? You'll spell me away? There is nothing magic about you except for that staff, which has been more of a burden than help." Phaiva growled, but turned away and resumed his seat.

"So, what now lad?" inquired the dwarf, pouring the stew into a bowl for herself as though nothing had happened.

"I don't know, Azure. I guess turn around and try again, hopefully in the right direction?" he stated, gazing at Thistletoe with one eye. 

"Sorry Fayard, I'll get it right this time."

"It's all right This, I'm really in no hurry. But may I see the map anyway?"

The kender nodded and handed it to the human. Sitting down again, Fayard scanned the old parchment. It _was_ difficult to read, actually. Well, he knew what to do now. He smiled and accepted a bowl of stew from Azure.

The fire had died down long ago leaving a shadow over the strange party who slept heavily. All except Fayard, who lay on his back, staring up into the stars. He had lied; he was in a hurry. He wanted to get to Solace as soon as possible, so then he could go home, back to Palanthas.

There's Paladine, he thought lazily, mentally tracing the figure in the sky, and over there is Tahkisis, locked in their constant watch over each other. Perfect balance, like Mother always said.

Reaching into his robe, he pulled out the heavy jewel that had grown cold on his chest. He lifted the chain over his head and held the dark jewel out, observing it. No light reflected on its smooth surface. The Nightjewel, he had been told when it was given to him. 

You knew I was going to go, didn't you, Master? In fact, I know you wanted me to…that's why you gave me this, so I could go back to you when I return to Palanthas, when I return home.

Mother…

I hope she's all right…

I awoke to sunlight in my face and an acolyte scolding me for sleeping in. I rolled over, ignoring her, trying to remember what had happened that night. Fuzzy fuzzy…

Oh yeah, the Tower. Faded now, it seemed no more than a nightmare. Perhaps that was all it was. I dismissed it as such and got out of bed.

Breakfast was the usual, and I ate without much appetite. Nightmare or no, the Darkness had come at last to tempt me and toss me its stray riddles. Why? What was it in me, the son of a cleric of good, that could attract the eyes of the Night into my very sanctuary? And then I knew. 

I had been hiding it too long, trying to keep it to myself, but that seemed quite fruitless now. I would have to tell someone. Not Mother, not yet, but someone I could trust to keep it secret and still help me. Dark forces are as persistent as Light, if in a different way, and I knew I would have no peace until I quenched the source of my problem.

Returning from breakfast, I gave some small scraps to my mouse, Riddletuft. A runt of a mouse, he lost his foot when two boys were torturing him in the corner of an ally. I rescued him from their grasp by "transforming" him into a steel coin, which I gave them, and brought him back with me instead. I don't cage him, he's allowed to come and go as he pleases, but he never strays far from my room anyway. A ran a finger over his furry back and left, traveling out into the city for some errands for my mother. That also included spending the day with my friends.

Traveling through the streets -I love the city!- I called out my hello's and good morning's to both old friends and strangers. Some returned my calls, some didn't. Oh well. I finally spotted my circle of friends huddled by the fountain, engrossed in one of their many games of chance. A blond head popped up and saw me coming, his face breaking into a wide grin.

"Hey, it's the golden-eyed wonder!" he teased as we put our hands together in our own traditional shake we hadn't grown out of yet. "Where were you yesterday? We missed you at the games."

"Some people came in with symptoms of the plague, so I stayed and helped." I replied as we sat back into the circle where I was greeted warmly. Mattha scooted and made room for me. I thanked her, trying to ignore her smile. I had known Mattha nearly all my life, but as of recently I had begun to get…restless around her. I had mentioned it to some of the adults at the temple, but they would only smile and tell me that I was growing up. Well thanks for the help.

Rolling the dice between my palms, I held for a moment, until my audience was about to rip my throat out. "I'm feeling good today," I began craftily, "Foor, what do I win this bout?"

"If you win, that is. My lucky Pieces are open. What do you have?"

"Three golds, one silver, plus my regular Pieces."

"You must be feeling really good about your luck."

"Maybe." I smiled, and tossed the dice. In these games, it really mattered little who won what. Our 'pieces' as we called them were really stones or shards of broken items (such as paperweights, old statues, and even broken pieces of weaponry) that were painted or smoothed to our liking. It was all a matter of collecting pretty things, and what was lost was usually won back in another game. In the end, it was just who had won the most pieces that day. 

By the end of the game, I had only four Pieces left. Two green metals, a yellow stone, and my lucky obsidian marble that I had won off Foor two tears ago, and had never lost since. I planned to keep it that way. Mattha was about to take my place when I pulled her aside. I had to tell someone.

I guess I trusted her more than I realized.

"What is it?" she said irritably, trying to brush me away and get back to her game.

"I need to talk to you. It's important." I stressed, taking her arm firmly. She must have gotten my point because she came willingly after that. We walked away from our friends and to a small open-ended ally where few people were wandering about. "okay…" I began nervously, wringing my hands, "Okay, how do I put this…?"

"Fayard, you look really pale. What's wrong?" she asked me gently, placing her hand on my arm. Oh please don't do that…

"Well," I began again, getting my bearings. If I couldn't tell her then I couldn't tell anyone. I'd try another approach. "You…you know how I'm always hanging around the Great Library?"

"Yeah."

"Do you ever wonder why?"

"Foor, Desva and Kinfer do every now and then, but not really. What you do is your own business I guess."

Damn me for having sensible friends. I rubbed my arms nervously, one of my bad habits, and paced in a small circle. "Well you see, I can…well, I can do…things…and…"

She gazed at me skeptically. "What kind of 'things'?"

"You know…uh…" This wasn't working, I would never get it out at this rate. What was the worst thing that could happen? My friends shun me?

Ooh, that did sound pretty bad, actually. I'm the social type, afterall. I sighed and tossed my arms. Actions speak louder than words, I guess.

"Do you see that cat down there?" I gestured to the gray ally cat mulling about on a broken cart, "Watch it, okay?"

She looked at me dubiously but nodded and turned her attention to the cat. "What am I watching for?"

"You'll see." I drew up the sleeves of my tunic and grabbed a handful of sand off the street. Rubbing it between my palms, another one of my bad habits, I grabbed the phrase from my mind and tossed it about until I was pretty sure I had it. Books never teach pronunciation or stresses. It was several minutes before I had the words on my tongue, and even longer before I felt the familiar tingle in my fingers. I tossed the sand up, pointed at the cat and said the words.

"Nothing happened." Mattha said flatly, then turned and looked at me. "What _are_ you doing?" she sighed as I gathered more sand.

"I did something wrong again…One more time! I _know_ I can do it!"

"Do what?"

I stood. Please don't tell me I lost it! I pleaded silently. No, I must have really done something wrong, for the words were still there…oh, I used a whole different word entirely. I rolled it over my tongue softly until I thought I had it, and the tingle fluttered through my whole body.

Oh yeah, I had it now. I filtered the sand through my fingers and spoke, gesturing to the cat. 

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Ast tasarak sinuralin krynawi!

What a rush. And then Mattha let out a cry that nearly knocked me over. "What! What!" I cried, leaning against the wall. If some large demon had leapt out of the dirt I was too tired to run. Instead I saw Mattha run over to the still form of the cat that had tumbled off the cart. She touched it softly and then drew back slowly.

"It's asleep…" she said, lifting it up and putting it back on the cart where it stretched and resumed purring.

"Oh good," I sighed, wiping my sleeve across my sweaty brow, "the way you were acting I thought I killed it." My relief scurried away, tail between its legs when she turned and marched back to me angrily. She took a firm hold of my wavy hair and yanked.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier!" she shouted, then let go, her anger spent.

"I don't know," I snapped, rubbing my scalp, "should I go and announce to everyone that I've got some freakish magic in me from who-knows-where? I think not! I showed you now because I _hoped_ I could trust you!"

She gazed at me closely a minute then nodded. "All right. I'm flattered you chose me then. So that's why Fayard Tarinius hangs around the Great Library is it? To secretly study your magic."

"I would ignore it, but I've heard so many tales of people ignoring their abilities and driven to insanity because of it. I didn't want that to happen."

"I guess that would put a strain on our friendship," she smiled, then slugged me in the shoulder, "So my friend, what are you gonna do about it? You are going to tell your mother, aren't you?"

"How can I? This would just do damage! I've gone to the library and I've studied, I know how to hold control over my magic and a few spells. That's all I need."

Mattha shrugged, "I wouldn't know, my family's a bunch of carpenters. But where did it come from? Your mother's a cleric but…"

"No, there is no record of magic in her family, believe me, I checked. I don't know where it comes from."

"Maybe your father."

I stood up straight then and gazed down the ally towards the street. "My father…" I began softly. I swayed on my feet slightly; gods I was tired. I rarely cast spells, if ever, and they always sapped my strength completely. Mattha offered me her arm.

"Who is he anyway?" she asked casually as we emerged back on the street.

"I wish I knew…"

For the first time, I cared. I wanted to know who the other person of whom I was half was. 

That evening I took a walk. A walk that just happened to take me to the Great Library. There was one person who, if I bothered him enough, would give me some kind of answer.

"Bertrem, please!" I whined as I followed him like his shadow through the corridors. I was growing, sure, but still just young enough to hold whining as one of my weapons, and I would use it until he gave up, "I have to know! I just want to know _what_ he was, an occupation, a class, anything!"

"I'm locking up Fayard, go home." he cried in exasperation. I was almost tempted to drop to the floor and cling to his foot, but I was too old for that, and I had never been that kind of child anyway.

"I must know." I stressed.

"You don't need to, go home."

"I don't what?" I whispered in disbelief. I was a fool. Nobody ever spoke of my father because nobody wanted me to know. Suddenly I was very angry. "I don't need to know?" I hissed slowly. I am rarely angry, and never to that extent. My anger burned up my common sense and I whirled and held out my hands. The words came instantly this time.

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Kair tangus moipiar!

Flames shot from my hands and engulfed a pot holding a plant. Bertrem nearly jumped out of his skin, and I did as well when I suddenly realized I enjoyed watching him do so. I fell back as the plant smoldered and fell as ashes to the floor. But at the time, I was still angry.

"You're absolutely right," I shouted sarcastically, "I don't need to know!" I paused and suddenly pulled back, stepping out of whatever flames I was leaping in. "I-I'm sorry…I'll clean it up and…but…you see? I just want to know what he was. Please, just tell me that and I will be satisfied."

I don't remember much after that. I only remember his answer, and then leaving the library in the dark. Dark, like his answer. 

"Your father was a mage. A powerful mage of the black robes."

I shivered. A Black Robe? What a slap in the face. I gazed up at the tower, black and leering. It all made sense.

Interesting, now that I thought about it. The Tower, the magic, all that made sense now when it hadn't before. And the other things in my life, the grounds I had stood upon, were suddenly wrong. What would my mother be doing with a mage, a _black robe_, in such an intimate situation!? That's why I had always never cared, because, deep inside, I knew no one would ever tell me. Is this why?

Is that why my mother had never mentioned him until now?

My dreams were plagued with shadows reaching out for me and dragging me to the Abyss where the Dark Queen wait for my blood.

I spent the next day before the Altar alone. I was thinking clearer now, and it made sense. I wasn't angry anymore, or confused. No wonder no one had told me about my father before, look what a mess I had become because of it.

"Well Paladine," I mused, straightening my tunic, walking up and down the room, rubbing my arms, and all my other dumb habits. "Well…I thought I'd be satisfied if I knew what he was…but I'm not. It's even worse than before, and I am to blame for it. I pushed for answers when I should have been content. But now I'm not, and I'm going to have to ride this out.

"But still, I don't understand…what could have happened to entangle my mother into…_that_ with a black robe? Huh, asking too much now, I guess… But please, what can I do now that will end this? I must know…please, tell me what I must do."

I didn't leave the temple until well into afternoon. I wandered the streets, lost in my own thoughts. I felt as though all eyes were on me, everyone was pointing…_laughing_ at me even for my foolishness. How could I have never seen it before? It was as though everyone knew except me. I was suddenly feeling very antisocial. 

I was jerked from my thoughts when Foor nearly knocked me flat. I was surrounded by all my friends suddenly, and for one split second I could see them all laughing at me as I sprawled in the dirt. No such thing. Kinfer caught me before I fell and soon all of us were walking around, laughing and causing harmless mischief. 

I felt better.

Nincur, a small boy of slight build, began showing me his new collection of Pieces as we all lounged in the shade of a tree. 

"This," he said, showing me a gold-colored marble, "is open if you want to play me with your obsidian."

Normally I would accept, but despite my healthier mood I wasn't about to test my luck. Besides, "That hardly compares with my obsidian." I laughed. "I'll try you for a yellow."

"You kidding? No gold is worth a yellow."

"And no gold is worth an obsidian, get it straight."

He laughed, and tackled me. This happened often, especially between he and I, when we had disagreements over Pieces. We wrestled a moment, but in the end I pinned him down. I'm stronger than he is, so I usually always win. Unfortunately, Kinfer jumped into the fun, and then Mattha came to my rescue, and soon the whole lot of us were wrestling around in the grass for a forgotten reason. Eventually some adults broke us up and chased us off, claiming we were a disturbance or something. Compared with some groups I'd seen before, we were as innocent as kender.

Maybe that's why…

The sky began to dim and everyone slowly began to go home. It was just Foor and I as we hurried by the gates when he stopped.

"Come on, we gotta get home," I stated, pulling him along.

"No need. See, there's my dad." Foor said, gesturing. Sure enough, a large wagon rolled up hauling his family.

"Where are you going?" I inquired as we strolled over to the wagon.

"Headin' down south to Haven."

"That's a long way…"

"Yeah, but think of the adventure! I've never been out of Palanthas before. Well, not too far anyway."

"You are coming back, right?" I cried as he climbed up beside his father. 

"Of course, I want my obsidian back!"

I laughed and waved as the wagon pulled away. I suddenly noticed the small pang as I watched him next to his father, relating the day's events. I realized with a heavy heart that that pang had always been there. I had just never acknowledged it. 

The wagon departed through the gates, and I watched it until it vanished from view. I was about to turn when a light, so light it was almost like a gentle breeze, seemed to push me forward slightly.

I understood, and stared at the gates.

"Thank you Paladine." I whispered. I turned and ran home, a sudden flutter in my chest. I knew what to do now, the gods had shown me the way. It was exciting and depressing all at once.

I had to leave Palanthas.

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Wow…I have nothing to say. Wait, yes I do!  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Yay! I'm going to go work on Hourglass some because I'm getting threatened *-*;; ß I actually made one of those dumb faces…the apocalypse is upon us!! Uh, yeah, college tomorrow, bleh…I'm supposed to sleep…nah…


	4. I Am Ready

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Short chapter, 'cause I kinda ran out of juice partway through. Oh well. Pointless chapter, lots of questions. Enjoy.

Mother knew I was up to something right away. I don't know how she knew, but she did.

"Fayard, what are you doing?" she inquired, staring straight ahead, as usual, as I knelt on the wet floor before the alter.

"I'm mopping and scrubbing some. Gotta keep the place nice and clean so everyone can come and thank Paladine for everything that he gives us! Big thanks!" 

Probably that.

I always wished that my mother could see me, just for one day even. I could then stand before her and say proudly, "Look at me Mother, I am your son. Do you see me? Am I what you see in your mind's eye?" She has never seen me with her eyes before in her life, but I know she sees me, comparing my features with the man I don't know, my lost sire.

But I was glad she could not see then, as I would walk by her, bundles of supplies as I readied for my journey. Instead I was harboring a new problem.

Where would I go?

I had pondered that question all night as Riddletuft skittered across my chest in the dark. I think he must have found some new friends, as I recognized a few more tiny claws following after. Oh well. However, my mind would always wander astray, dashing over to the other questions the mind merchant had set up beside the road.

Why a black robe? What was this incorrect pairing that brought about my birth? Was Mother a victim of some horrible rape that I had never been told of? Or maybe a mage that turned to Nuitari soon after I was conceived? That would explain why I've never heard of him. I could ask my mother, but what kind of answers would I receive? No one had even _mentioned_ my father until now.

Why would that change? 

"Maybe I'm wrong," I whispered to Riddletuft (or whoever was scurrying across my stomach at that moment), "Love is, as they say, the most powerful force there is…maybe it was just some odd fling…" Then why hadn't I met him? Heard of him? Why wasn't he here, teaching me the skills I needed to know to control this curse of mine? If I met him…would he know me?

I'd have to ask him myself.

And there it was. The gods had shown me, and now I could see it. If I wanted answers, I would have to go find them, and that meant finding my father…whoever he was. How does one find a black robed mage? How does one find _any_ specific mage?

I tossed the few supplies I could scrounge up onto my bed and sat at my small desk, gazing out the window. The sun was at its zenith, shining down upon beautiful Palanthas, my home. The home I was leaving. Yet no sunlight seemed to touch the dark tower that rose above the buildings. Tall and leering, it made an odd comfort to my eyes against the bright city…

That was it! I jumped out of my seat and dashed to the small library across the building. I dug around until I finally found what I needed. Spreading the large map out on a table, I traced my finger south from the small dot marked 'Palanthas' to a darkened area. The Tower of Wayreth, or where it supposedly was. I'd heard that the very forest that surrounded the tower moved from place to place, one could fall asleep in an open field and awaken in the forest the next day.

I'd go to the Tower somehow. I would find a way in, I knew it. The wizards in the tower could probably find out about my father and maybe even his whereabouts. I rolled up the map, satisfied. I had my destination. It was far, but I was sure I could manage. 

If only I had known…

I ate my meal in silence, my mind too busy to even notice anyone was speaking my name. My father…if I met him, what would I say? "Hello sir, do you know me? I am your son. Please sir, take this magic back, I want none of you. Take your magic, your name, your blood, I do not want it. No more than you wanted me…"

"Fayard? You're awfully quiet. Is anything wrong?"

Aside from the fact no one has ever told me of my full heritage, that I am the bastard son of an evil mage that is kept around because you all pity me. Yes, I see it in their eyes now, they're afraid, afraid that I may rip them to shreds with this magic that is pulling me further and further into my nightmares. I'm just peachy.

"Nothing's wrong Mother." I replied softly. She said no more, just sighed and continued eating. Oh yes, she knew I was up to something. I glanced at my pack, sitting in the corner, ready to go. What would I say?

Upon finishing my meal, I rose and knelt beside her, taking her hand in mine. "Mother, I'm going on a walk, I'll be back as soon as I can but it may take a while."

"When you get back, will you help Lilith reorganize the books in the library?"

"Of course, goodbye." I kissed her on the cheek and let go. Grabbing my pack, I backed out the door. "I love you," I called before turning and walking down the hall. Wrapping my traveling cloak about my shoulders, I felt a foreboding tug at my heart as I strode away from the temple, but I walked on, away from everything I knew. I didn't look back.

"Fayard!"

"I'm up here!" the boy called over his shoulder. The dwarf climbed up the rocks with little effort, muttering to herself until she reached him.

"What are you doing up here by yourself? In the cold no less, dressed as you are…" Azure began scolding him. Fayard merely smiled and gestured outward.

"Ah, I see," she sighed, settling beside him, "you're a queer one, you know that?"

"If I wasn't, you wouldn't be here. Besides, there isn't anything queer about this, it's beautiful."

"You're acting as though you've never seen a sunrise before."

"None like this. We're so high up, I can see for eternity…" he breathed, opening his arms to the rising sun.

"What are you thinking about this time?" the dwarf smiled, shaking her head.

"It's been so long since I left home, I wonder what everyone is doing, my mother…I hope she's not too worried."

"You thinking of giving up lad?"

"No! I haven't come this far for nothing. But I mean…what if I find this uncle of mine? What can I say? Will he even believe what I tell him?"

"If he truly is your uncle, he will. Now come on, it's chilly up here and the kender is cooking something that actually seems edible, you're too skinny."

"Yes, I'm coming."

Azure grunted and, lifting her worn skirts, began her descent back to camp. Fayard watched her go, smiling. If there was anyone he could ever count of these days… The sun had finally broken free of the horizon's grasp and rose upward, brightening the world around it. Fayard shut his eyes and felt the warmth spread through him slowly. 

He stood slowly, letting his tight muscles uncoil. he turned back toward camp, and blew the sun a kiss.

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Whoo…I can't think of anything to say…Well, Fayard is a little difficult to handle, because his character's still developing, all I know is that he's supposed to be pretty much the opposite of Raistlin. He's got many friends, is very sociable, and obviously doesn't give a rat's (censored!) about his magic. eh…oh well, next chapter of whatever coming up next, maybe even something new, because this idea has been bothering me for months…nah…ja na.


	5. I Am Malignant

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Hello again everyone. Thank you for all the nice reviews! Fayard's blushing (he's so cute). Anyway, I'm glad I worked on this, Hourglass was being difficult and threw me an even larger writers' block. So, I pulled this back out and worked on it, and I feel so much better. Not much excitement, but you know what, I kinda like this chapter, and that's more than I can say for anything I've written lately so, Ha! Okay, enjoy.

"We lost much time, trekking all the way out here." the Minotaur grunted as he gazed down the mountain slopes.

"True, but Solace should not be too far now, we should reach it in a few days. Besides, I do not know about you Sorz, but _I_ am in no hurry to reach that place!"

Sorz eyed the Draconian warily. "Then why do you travel with the boy? His quest has no meaning to you."

Parting his reptilian jaws into a dark smile, Phaiva hissed, "Nor to you, yet you follow him the same."

"I swore to protect him."

"And I swore I would never return to that army! Where else would I have gone, till a young human meets me on the road, extends his hand and says, 'hello sir, how are you'? The boy has no fear of me, and for the time being, I will use that."

"Harm one hair on his head and I shall throw you into the Abyss myself."

"I have no intention of harming him. It is not everyday one comes across such a bright young idiot."

Sorz's eyes shifted back toward the horizon. "Best we start, make up for lost time." The large minotaur turned as Thistletoe bobbed by, facing their old camp site.

"Majere! We go now," he called.

Fayard lifted his head from the journal he was writing in. Nodding, he tossed it into his pack and followed after Thistletoe. The young teen paused, looking up at Sorz with troubled eyes as he passed. "Please don't call me that," he said quietly.

"What," Phaiva sneered at him, "you do not wish to be part of the legend?"

Fayard held his gaze with the Draconian steadily, unwavering. "I do not wish to be part of the monster."

"You are an odd human indeed," Phaiva laughed, "You keep company with those your kind have always deemed evil, yet you refer to your own flesh and blood as a monster!" He stopped when he saw Fayard wince, and he stood silent, waiting for the young boy's response. He gave none.

He extended his hand, saying, "Poofer, come," and the plain wooden staff flew to his hand. Facing the horizon, his back to the Draconian, Fayard looked up towards the sky, and laughed. "Come Phaiva my friend," he exclaimed, arms open, "it is a beautiful day and we have much ground to cover! To Solace!"

Phaiva had yet to become accustomed to Fayard's odd mood-swings. He would never understand humans.

It finally struck me how far I had to travel to Wayreth as I walked down the road, scanning a small map I had borrowed from the temple library. It would take me forever just to get out of Solamnia alone! Well, too late now.

Rolling up the old parchment and stuffing it back into my pack, I let my mind wander. Maybe this trip didn't have to be so long? Maybe some knights at the High Clerist Tower would help me? I had a sudden mental image of flying across Ansalon on the back of a bright Copper Dragon, or maybe a friendly Bronze! I laughed at the thought, how silly! Still, what fun that truly would be! 

Still laughing, I spun around, my arms outstretched like wings, twirling and running about until I was dizzy. 

I traveled along the well-used road to Palanthas, the only road through the mountains. I had pondered the idea of getting passage on a boat and sailing south overseas, but like I had the money. Two steels coins, a few near-useless golds, and three or four coppers. I would certainly have to work my way to the High Tower of Sorcery, no doubt about that.

It was a gorgeous day for traveling (this I judged from the many others I passed). The sun was shining through the tall firs, the blue sky poka-dotted with wispy white clouds. It was warm, but there was a cool breeze that would whip up every now and again, gently tossing my hair about most friendly like, making me feel not so alone. I was feeling refreshed and lively. My hand slid into one of my pockets, feeling the heavy coldness of the obsidian marble against my skin. I began to sing to myself quietly, an old tune I had heard somewhere, making up the words as I went along.

"The road is a good one  
If the day is very fine.  
The sky blue and the air sweet  
Like old Elven wine.  
The sun shines upon you  
And if I were poetic, Love  
Then I would leap and sing  
Your glory to the Heavens above!  
The road is an open one  
When the skies break apart.  
Crimson flow from earth  
Like the blood of my Heart.  
All the obstacles surround you  
And if I were brave, Beloved,  
Then come to you I would  
Through fire and…"

"And…hovered? Coved? Oh……drat." I sighed, having cornered myself again. Shrugging, I continued on my way, humming the rest of the soft melody, out of words and rhymes.

Within a couple of hours, I was too tired to take another step. Collapsing on a flat rock a little off the road, I pulled off my boots and rubbed my sore feet. Unaccustomed to hard travel, I was going to have to build myself up. Still, a small voice said to me from the depths of my mind, what if they come after you? You'll need a head start.

"I have one," I muttered, lying back on the warm stone. Mmm, warm…sleep…

No! Stay awake! Only a short rest and then on your way again…so tired…

Oh well, nobody ever said I had a strong will…

I woke up some time later. Momentarily distraught and confused, I sat up and fell right off my rock. When I remembered why I was out in the woods, I decided I had better eat before I continue.

I didn't have much, and I would have to make it last. It was nearly dark, and I would have to camp soon, so I only had a few nibbles from a loaf of bread and a bit of my dried fruit. My feet still hurt, but I ignored it and continued on my way through the blue of twilight, savoring the last bit of light before the night reached out to grasp me. 

When I did stop for the night, I didn't make a fire. To tell the truth, I wasn't all too sure how, with my limited materials, that is. I was awfully sure I had packed some flint, but suddenly, digging through my pack, I was unable to find it. Giving up, I decided I probably didn't want to attract unwanted attention to myself anyway. 

Using my pack as a make-shift pillow, I curled up in my travelers' cloak, pulling the hood up to protect my face from insects and any other unwanted elements. When I heard the sounds of the nocturnal forest animals stirring, searching for food, I shivered and curled up even tighter, trying to make myself as small as possible. Getting my mind off being munched by night beasts, I tried to assess how much ground I had covered. 

Thinking made me realize how tired I was, as my thoughts resembled something similar to a dried up puddle. I gave up.

Muttering a prayer to Paladine, I shut my eyes, silenced the night beasts, and let sleep steal over me.

In my dreams, I was standing on a pedestal, bathed in light. Everywhere else, however, dwelled the Darkness. Shivering, I pulled my white robes tighter about me, noticing that, from my hands, a horrible blood red seeped over me. The pedestal began to break away at the edges, and I stood, my heels together, as the blood of my robes became pasty and black, weighing me down.

I cried out to the source of the light as the pedestal shook beneath me, but the light began to dim. I screamed as the light was blocked completely by a black moon, shedding its own unholy light upon me. I screamed as clawed, skeletal hands grabbed me, by the pasty wet cloth of my robes, by my cold flesh, it didn't matter, and began pulling me down. The pedestal broke, shattering into thousands of tiny stars, and I was falling.

Falling into the gaping maw of Darkness.

I awoke, shivering and bathed in sweat, and began to sob, tears falling warm and wet into my palms. I looked up into the light, the light of Solinari, shining and full, and felt my breathing slow. The red moon was rising now, catching up with the silver. I could not see the black.

Because I was not of the Dark.

I sighed, sudden peace flowing through me. My hands were wet, and I looked at them.

My tears remained where they had fallen in my palms. Tiny stars in the Night Candle's light.


End file.
